Why I got kicked out of camp

It seems to be a good a time as any to let you know why I got kicked out of camp. It was sleep-away camp in Montreal. I was a counselor teaching drama. Not the head of the department but a member of the team. The head of drama was this pale gonzo looking woman with a crooked shnozz and ostrich-like features. She was an untalented bitch and I’m not sure who she blew to get to be head of the drama department but whatever. I was young, going into my third year of theatre school and thought I was going to be hailed as the next Laurence Olivier. One of the members of my team was a girl from my theatre program named Wendy. Another member was this girl named Jessica whom I wanted to bang. I walked around camp with my finger nails painted green, and a single daisy sticking out of my curly curly hair. These were the best days of my life. Then I asked some kid in class one day if he ever felt like touching his Mother and WHAM! BANG! FUCK ME!@@@! I’m in the owner’s private office with the camp psychologist.

DR: Tell me what you said.

“I’ve abandoned my boy.”

My son is in Texas with his Mother right now and I miss him so much I want to kill myself. I don’t understand how he can live without me. I don’t understand why he hasn’t purchased a plane ticket online and called me from LaGuardia.

He is so beautiful. He is everything. I am lost without him. I walk around talking like him. I walk through my job mumbling all the non-words he uses. “Babiss.” What is “Babiss” you ask? Everything. The air conditioner, the fan, the book, the cat, the pancake. Babiss! He’s reduced me to nothing. I’m half a man sitting with an open New York Post in my hands a vacant look in my eyes and non words on the tip of my tongue. I see 

There Will Be Blood

I loved this film. There was no dialogue which revealed a quirkiness or action which revealed a zany-ness, shaky hand held shots making the footage seem more “realistic.” There was Daniel Plainview, a man who wanted to put people under his coal-laced boot. He was the constant. We followed him through town as he attempted to expand his success. I do not respect or agree with Daniel Planview. I did, however, enjoy watching him from a distance. I would never want to know the man, or invite him into my house.
Question. Why was I meant to see the short relationship between him and the man who pretended to be his brother? I’m guessing it was someone he could trust? Someone he did not see in direct competition with him, or someone he did not have to compete with (because he had nothing).

You’re in a room…

There’s that age old game you play with your friends where you imagine you’re sitting in a room enclosed in glass with a view of two other rooms and there’s a single red button in front of you. The other two rooms have walls made of spikes and they’re slowly closing in on the single wooden chairs located in the center of these rooms. In the chairs are your best friends. Now. Now you must choose. You can only save one. Even if I have just met you, I expect you to choose me. Choose me over your Mother, Brother, Boyfriend, Husband, doesn’t matter.

Ironing my shirt for work, I think of arguments I’d use to convince you to spare me instead of your wife….

She will leave you one day.
She may not.
You will cheat.
It’s possible.

I never argue for a full out, “Yes,”

Vintage

An old picture of Rafael and I during breakfast. He is eating Kids First Oatmeal blended with breast milk. He hadn’t realized he could take off his own bib yet. The white cover on top of his table is still on so he was probably not strong enough yet to rip that off (as he did later). Bottom right is an album of Tubby the Tuba. A terrific tale of a Tuba named Tubby who wants more from his life than the reciting of a simple bass line; dreams of having his own solo and though ridiculed and humiliated by his orchestra, runs away, meets a frog, learns the lesson of belief in self and the power of stealing your friends idea’s and improving on them, only to come back and wow the entire concert hall. My hair is also much longer now on the lower parts of my shoulder and back.